Taking Responsibility for your Nervous System

Taking Responsibility for My Sensitivity and My Nervous System
For most of my life, I believed that other people were responsible for managing my sensitivity. I’ve always been a deeply sensitive—some might even say hypersensitive—person. It showed up in countless ways throughout different stages of my life. As a child, I couldn’t wear clothes that itched, scratched, or had tags I could feel. I once stepped on a snail by accident and cried for what felt like forever.
As I grew older, my sensitivity became something I was taught to hide. I learned to treat it like a weakness or an inconvenience, something to be embarrassed about. So I tried to blend in. I tried to toughen up.
Then I discovered alcohol, and it felt like a magic solution. Suddenly my sensitivity faded into the background. I didn’t care how much I slept, how clean my apartment was, whether I was on time, or how carefully I moved through the world. Even physical pain seemed muted. I accumulated injuries—nearly shattering my kneecap, getting a minor concussion, fracturing my nose—yet the severity didn’t fully register.
For a while, it felt amazing not to feel so much.
But when I stopped drinking, the sensitivity I had been suppressing came rushing back with overwhelming intensity. That first year of sobriety was excruciating. Without a drink to numb my emotions, I had to face my anxiety and hypersensitivity head-on.
Over the past two years, however, something remarkable has happened. As my nervous system has had space to heal, my sensitivity has become more manageable—something I can understand, nurture, and work with, rather than fight against.
Through this healing, I’ve learned an invaluable lesson: I am responsible for my own sensitivity.
For a long time, I held a quiet belief that because I was born sensitive, others should adjust to accommodate me. I wouldn’t have phrased it that way at the time, but my behavior—both when I was drinking and early in my sobriety—reflected that mindset.
Now, with more clarity and more regulation in my body, I understand that while it isn’t my fault that I’m sensitive, it is absolutely my responsibility to care for my own nervous system. Managing my sensitivity is part of how I show up in the world with integrity—without letting it spill onto others or making anyone feel responsible for my emotional well-being.
Sensitivity isn’t a flaw. It’s a trait. And when we learn to take ownership of it, it can become a powerful source of insight, empathy, and connection.